The Lord Is Near

“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Our hearts are broken. Our lives are changed forever. But in the brokenness and uncertainty of the days ahead, we feel the Lord so near. He may not always speak to us or make us physically feel His presence. Sometimes it is in the calm assurance, the steady strength, and the comforting peace, that signify the nearness of our Lord and Saviour. Sometimes we just need to be held. And we feel this today.

This current path has thrown more trials and tribulations at us within a short period of time than decades of trials combined. It has stretched us to the limit. Even tonight. We desperately wanted to have the recording of Mom’s homegoing service, but due to a power outage, the file became corrupted. Dad and I have been working on this tirelessly for several hours, and just recently gave up for the night. Although in the natural this is quite upsetting and overwhelming, we are still held by the Master. He is our peace. He will provide a solution this problem; I’m sure of it!

Mom’s homegoing…how do I begin to describe it? Our hearts’ desire was to honour Mom and the life that she lived for the Lord. I think she would have been very proud of how the service went today. Our dear friend, Pastor Keith Collins, was due to officiate the funeral, but was unable to attend as his flight from Charlotte was cancelled. That left us with a tough decision to make — who was going to officiate now? Dad and I decided to go ahead and continue with the funeral service: I was to officiate, and Dad would preach. We knew it was going to be difficult, but we also knew that Mom would have it no other way.

The Lord was near to us each step of the way. I felt a peace and strength that I cannot explain. I knew it was the Holy Spirit helping and guiding me. If I had done it in my own strength, I would have been a puddle of emotions on the floor. It felt like I was in one of our church services, and I was expecting Mom to walk through those doors at any moment. It was surreal knowing that she would not.

I was so proud of Dad today. In his words, this was the worst day of his life. I knew that this would be the hardest thing for him to ever do…speak at the funeral of the love of his life, his soul mate. He wasn’t sure how much he would share, but as he continued to speak, you could sense a strengthening in his spirit. He shared about Mom in a way that no one else could have ever shared. Even I did not know everything about Mom that he talked about today. It was very healing for him to share from his heart. It was healing for me. And I have heard that it was healing for others.

I think the moment that affected me the most was when the casket left the church. It was Mom’s last moment in the place she loved the most. Dad and Mom spent so much of their time, their sweat, their love, and their tears in our church. It was a labour of love for them. She will no longer be able to labour at Eastern Gate Church. But the legacy she left behind will continue. Her love for the lost and desire to see souls saved will push us to continue in her footsteps and reach out to the lost, lonely, and hurting.

This is not our final goodbye. Due to the messy weather today, the committal service will now take place tomorrow morning. This will be our last time to say goodbye. It will bring closure, but with it a new journey into unknown territory. We don’t know what lies ahead for us. We know that there will be pain and sadness. But we also know that Jesus will turn our mourning into dancing and our sorrow into joy.

The emptiness is real. The pain is numbing. The peace is undeniable. And through it all, my Lord is near.