Lord, We Need You

Mom, why did you have to go? We miss you and need you so much.

Many times throughout my life I have desperately wanted to know what is ahead for me. Although I can be spontaneous, I am very much a planner at the core of my being. I like to know what's coming. But I am forever grateful that the Lord is infinitely more wise than I ever could be. In His wisdom He protects us from knowing what is ahead. If I had known what was coming for our family this fall, my heart would never have been able to take it.

I am not sure what to expect for this day. Mom's homegoing. Never thought I'd be saying that ever, let alone this year. The past few weeks since Mom went into the hospital have been the worst I have ever experienced -- in one way. We have fought battles that no one should ever fight, and no one will ever truly understand. Since Mom passed, we have been met with resistance and challenges everyday. Not only ''normal' challenges, but unnecessary ones as well. So, on the one hand, it has been the most difficult battle we have ever gone through as a family, but on the other hand, it has been the most beautiful. I have never before witnessed (and felt) the gospel of Jesus being lived out so assuredly and concretely in my life. The peace that passes all understanding is very real. It is not a fairy tale. It is not something to say to feel good. I actually feel that peace so strongly in my life at this moment. It is a gift from my loving heavenly Father, and a result of the multitude of prayers being lifted up for our family. The lifting up of our hands by the body of Christ has carried us through this storm.

We don't know what we are walking into today. The first winter storm of the season is upon us this morning. Our dear friend who was supposed to officiate the funeral could not make it to Newfoundland due to cancelled flights. But for Mom's sake, we continue on in the journey. She was the most resilient person I know and the backbone of our family. In honour of her life, we press forward. We will not quit in the face of adversity or disappointment. She would not have it!

Lord, we need you today. We cannot do this in our own strength. In our weakness, be our strength. Make a way where there is no way. Part the waters and let us walk through as a family into the destiny you have ordained for us. Let us honour Mom today and the legacy she has left behind. Thank you for being such a loving, faithful, and merciful God. I love you... my life is in your hands.