He Restores My Soul

"He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul...” Psalm 23:2,3

Rest is so important, and the older I get, the more I realize how much I need it. I am the first to admit that I do not take the time to rest like I should. I am very much a project-oriented person and always like to be kept busy. But, that is not always a good thing. When we spend too much time ‘doing’ and very little time ‘resting', we can get overwhelmed or burn out.

The past few months have been some of the most painful, busy, and unexpected months of my life. Although I have tried to take the time I need to grieve, there have been very few moments of actual rest for me. I have found that sometimes in situations like that, the Lord ‘makes’ us rest and take the time out that we need. Over the past few weeks, I feel like the Lord 'made' me (in a sense) take the time out to relax and lay aside the burdens I had been carrying.

My husband and I had been planning to take a special trip for quite some time in celebration of our 25th wedding anniversary. We were hoping to take such a trip last fall, but it did not pan out. With everything that happened at that time with Mom’s passing, my surgery, and many other unplanned circumstances, we placed our trip on hold. It was the farthest thing from our minds in the midst of grief. But, a few weeks ago, while planning along with good friends of ours, our trip came together and it was just the break that my heart needed. I will admit that it was very difficult for me at first. When we were enroute to our destination on the plane, my mind went back to all the times that we travelled to Florida with Mom and Dad. It was our happy place. Mom loved Florida. She loved the sun. She loved the shopping. And she loved to be able to break from the stresses and pressures of life and just relax.

The closer we got to Florida, the more my heart felt sad. I couldn’t keep the tears from flowing on that plane. It was hard not to think of Mom as we started our journey. But, I know she would have been so happy for us to be able to take that time and enjoy one another.

My husband and I had such a lovely time together on our trip and the break was exactly what we needed. We gratefully accepted the rest and felt strengthened with each passing day.

Just over a week ago, we arrived back home. I was sad to leave the sun and heat, but thankful to be in our home with our family. Our flight had been delayed, so we didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning, and after a couple hours of sleep, it was back to reality. I realized that we needed groceries, so I headed out to do a grocery run.

I tried to think of what we needed, but my mind was on Mom. I guess coming back home and to reality was making it more vivid in my mind. Instead of heading to the grocery store, I found myself turning into the cemetery where Mom was laid to rest. There is no memorial stone yet, but as I looked at the bare ground, my heart was gripped. Is this real? It still is a shock to my system most days.

I had been thinking a lot on Mom and on the vacations that we had taken as a family growing up in the days leading up to our trip. Sometimes in moments of grief, precious memories come in like a balm to our wounded heart. But that day at the cemetery, the sweet memories temporarily subsided and grief met me as a heavy weight on my chest.

I sat in my vehicle for a while. It was the first time I had returned there since the interment. The pain of separation was intense. But after awhile, I began to focus on the promises of God, and specifically His promise of the hope of heaven. We will be reunited with our loved ones one day. And with that, my thoughts turned once again to those precious memories of Mom.

I am grateful for the time of rest that I received during our recent trip. It gave me the strength that I needed for that moment, and has reset my heart and emotions to tackle each new day as it comes. David gave us such beautful imagery when he wrote the 23rd Psalm. Our loving Shepherd is always there to watch, lead and guide us on each of our journeys. In moments when you may feel overwhelmed in life, I encourage you to take the time you need to rest, reset, and recharge. Rest on the promises of God. Let our Good Shepherd lead you to green pastures and quiet waters. And in those moments, He will restore your soul.