He Is Our Prince Of Peace

Isaiah 9:6 ~ “For unto us a Child is born, until us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

One month. It will be one month ago tomorrow that Mom met her Lord and Saviour face to face. In some ways it seems like yesterday, and in other ways, it seems like it took place such a long time ago. All of the dreadful and time-consuming activities that must take place after a person passes from this life into eternity filled up much of our days since November 25th. Really, there have only been a few days of down time to spend with just our thoughts, reflections, and memories. Now the reality of missing Mom here physically with us sets in. Anniversaries in grief are hard, and it is sad that the one month anniversary will take place on Christmas Day.

The grief still comes in waves, and normally for me, when least expected. I tried to put out of my mind the experience we had while in the hospital, but that seems to be what comes back to me at the moment. Yesterday I found something that I bought for Mom during her battle in the hospital and the emotions just overtook me. It was such a hard battle in that hospital room, and although I do not want to dwell on it, I think it is important for me to deal with the memories of that time, as painful as they may be.

My take on the holidays is different now. I would hear of people suffering through pain or tragedy during the Christmas season and never truly understand what they were going through. But now I am able to enter in a little to what they may have actually experienced. It is hard to understand what grief around the holidays is like unless you experience it for yourself. The noticeable empty chair around the table and the ensuing loneliness are hallmarks of the first Christmas without a loved one.

Christmas has always been our favourite time of year as a family. We love all of the traditions and all of the celebrations. This year, everything is different. Our traditions are now changing. Certain traditions that were done with just Mom and Dad have now changed forever. The warm, fuzzy feeling that I would normally get from Christmas lights and carols are now being replaced periodically throughout the day by a lump in my throat this year. Although I will be celebrating Christmas for the real reason of Jesus coming to earth for me, I will experience some loneliness and sadness in missing seeing Mom's face during the celebrations. It's okay to not have a normal Christmas this year. It is inevitable and understandable.

The best word to describe this Christmas is bittersweet. Bitter in missing Mom and in recovering from surgery, but sweet in celebrating the goodness of God in our lives as a family, and knowing that Mom is in heaven. We're sad, and we are thankful. It is the paradoxical mystery in serving the Lord. We live in a fallen world with trials and tribulations, but we are not of this world. We can have joy and peace even in those difficult circumstances.

I wish you all a wonderful Merry Christmas. If you are missing someone this year, it's okay to own all of the feelings...the good and the bad. But don't let the negative feelings consume you. Allow yourself to be real and feel those feelings, and then lay them at the feet of Jesus. He will bring you the healing that you need. It is His promise to us...for He is our Prince of Peace.