Beyond Belief

Have you ever felt like your life is moving forward and, as much as you want to, you have no way of stopping it? Something similar to standing on a moving sidewalk in an airport? If you stand still, you keep moving. If you turn back, you are not going to get very far. And those trying to get somewhere quickly will continue briskly walking as they move on the conveyor belt at a steady pace. That is kind of the way I feel in life right now. I am on the conveyor belt of life. So many things are taking place, so many changes. My life is still moving, whether I want to move or not.

This morning was spent at the hospital in pre-op getting prepared for my upcoming surgery in a few days. When I stop to think about it, I want to turn around on this conveyor belt of life, but I know I have to keep going — pressing forward and placing my full trust in the Lord to see me through.

I’ve come to realize that when we go through trials and tribulations, our relationship with the Lord is being tested. Are we just a believer, or are we more?

A couple of years ago, the Lord revealed a truth to me about my personal testimony. Shortly after this revelation in my life, I was speaking with a friend about the very same thing. It was a confirmation to me of how my life had changed when I really met Jesus.

I was saved at 5 years old, and had a powerful encounter with Jesus at 17 years old. But, I could never really explain the difference between the two encounters to others. One day when I was reading Job 42, a verse jumped out at me that helped me to finally understand. In verse 5, Job said, “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You.”

At the tender age of 5, I heard about the Lord. I understood the plan of salvation, and I asked Jesus into my heart. I was very sincere in my prayer. In theory, I became a believer. I grew up in church and, although I loved the Lord, my Christian walk became more of a lifestyle to me. I never did doubt that God existed. It was a given in my life. But there was something missing.

In my last year of high school, at 17 years of age, I had an encounter with the Lord that changed my life forever. At the time, I was attending a Christian retreat with university students. It was a miracle for me to even be there, as I was still a high school student. On that Friday, January 22, 1993, the special speaker spoke on the Potter and the clay, and how we needed to submit to the Lord in all areas of our lives. I knew in that moment that I had not given my future to the Lord. I knelt down at my seat, repented to the Lord for not allowing Him into that area of my life, and I was changed forever from that moment.

My walk with the Lord had given way to not only being a believer in Him, but now being His follower. It was as if I had met the Master for the first time. My relationship with Jesus became real and vibrant, something I had longed for for many years. He was not only my Saviour, He was now my Lord.

So many people in this world proclaim that they are believers in God. That is not a bad thing at all. We need to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. But if we remain only a believer without becoming a follower, our Christian life will become so much harder to live. There is something so powerful in knowing Jesus in an intimate way. When trials in life come, we can rest in the knowledge that Jesus is with us, holding us, keeping us, and leading us.

I always struggled as a teenager; wondering if I was truly saved. But, when I not only heard about the Lord with my ear, but saw Him with my own eyes, things changed. There is more to serving Jesus than head knowledge…we need heart knowledge of our loving Saviour.

I know that right now I have to put thoughts of the unknown out of my mind. My doctor has not given me a definite outcome of this upcoming surgery — it all depends on how it goes in the OR. But, I will place my life in the hands of my Lord to see me through. And I am so thankful that He reached down to me all those years ago to help me go beyond belief.